Yesterday when I opened mail box, the subject line that immediately got my attention was
“Why do I always fail at dating?”
Do you feel the same way and wonder why your all efforts failed when it comes to successful dating.
OKAY, if this is you then you should read this post till end.
I won’t share the email as it was requested to keep confidential but would share proven to work step-by-step dating strategy that you can use to dramatically improve your dating success and enjoyment.
First take a look at the problem.
The biggest dating mistake most of women do is they approach dating in a careless manner as if their actions were dictated by instincts and they have no control over, like it is with animals.
The difference, of course, is that humans have an infinitely superior intelligence that provides us with the ability to THINK, ANALYZE, and CHOOSE.
Read these words again THINK, ANALYZE, and CHOOSE.
Mastering these abilities can change everything in terms of how successful you are in dating.
This includes having the ability to recognize early when it's time to move on (yeah sometimes moving on at right time open up better opportunities), but also how to create romance and passion with the person you have determined to be a promising match.
Let me explain how you can develop these abilities to enjoy successful dating experience.
The biggest reason most of the women fail in dating is they don’t have a goal.
Even for successful dating you should have a definite goal in your mind. For example what you want out of dating? What timeframe you expect? Looking for some serious relationship or just want to spend a good time? Do you want to get married in couple of years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly.
The bottom line is…
Take honest evaluation of yourself.
If you are confused about what you want from a dating then you won’t enjoy your time and end up with complain of dating failures.
Do not permit physical attraction (or lust) to cloud your judgment. When this happens, your vision begins to fade away, and you risk the chance of fooling yourself into believing that you have found the one who's right for you. Don't allow physical attraction to obscure your emotional requirements. Because when you find someone who satisfies both, the fireworks will be a continuous grand finale', and not a brief show followed by a string of duds. So don't settle for an individual who falls short of your vision.
Dating Tip 1: To quickly determine if someone meets our criteria, we need to pay attention to our intuition and not be timid about attempting to determine their true character through tactful questions.
Keep the conversation light during the first few dates, but try to tactfully find out if your date has the qualities you seek in a partner or friend.
Dating Tip 2: And don't tell them your whole life story and all your intimate secrets right away. Prolong the mystery. In fact, always try to maintain some degree of anonymity in some area of your personality or life, as it naturally provokes more excitement. Mystery is a mental aphrodisiac!
Take notice of your date's personality attributes and how they demonstrate their values through their actions and unrehearsed comments. Then ask yourself, "Do their responses reflect my values?" Human resource professionals carefully use crafted questions to get people to talk about themselves while they unwittingly reveal key aspects of their character.
Dating Tip 3: Questions like these, used in a date setting, can also be revealing as well as lead to stimulating conversation.
On the first few dates, your questions should be geared toward discovering what you have in common and generating stimulating conversation. Save the more probing and tactical questions for a later time down the road. Typical questions might include:
- Where did you grow up?
- Do you have brothers/sisters?
- Where did you go to high school/college?
- What are your favorite movies?
- What are your favorite songs?
- What are your favorite sports?
- What type of books do you read?
More probing questions, which tend to reveal a lot about a person, should not occur until the third or fourth date. You can keep them from sounding like interview questions by presenting them playfully in a game-like manner. Probing questions might include:
- Where do you see yourself in three (3) to five (5) years?
- Using single words, how would you describe yourself?
- What's your greatest achievement?
- What's your greatest disappointment?
- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
- What is your best attribute?
Here are a few words of caution regarding the use of questions.
Dating Tip 4: If you're dating more than one person at the same time, and you have any tendency to get confused about what you've talked about with each individual, I would suggest that you make notes on what you talked about in your journal or calendar. Nothing is more disappointing to a date than when it is discovered that you can't remember what you spoke to them about.
Dating Tip 5: On the other hand, nothing is more charming to them than when you remember specific details about your conversation.
After the ninth (9th) date, it's time (once again) to evaluate whether or not you want to continue the relationship.
Dating Tip 6: Again, review your criteria for an ideal partner or friend.
At this point, the idea of breaking it off can be painful. But if it's not working by now, I can assure you, it probably never will! So if your evaluations on this person are coming out poorly and they have few, if any, of the qualities you "must have" or "cannot have" in a relationship then you need to face facts.
Dating Tip 7: Don't rationalize! Don't sell yourself short! And don't waste anymore time! Think carefully about the conclusions you came to in your evaluation. Make a decision, and don't look back!
If, on the other hand, you determine that the person you are dating matches your criteria for an ideal partner or friend, and you feel that the chemistry is right, then continue on without fear, without hesitation, and without measure of what you expect to receive in return!